Oh God it’s a Monday again and I still work with psychotic people (which is cool but not on mondays). Let’s make a list of things I know I’m gonna say this week and every other week, Elcor style :
- Ironically cheerful : Well, hello to you too !
- Ungenuinely curious : Is that how they say good morning where you’re from ?
- Wearily : That is not my name.
- Pained but encouraging : That is almost my name, but no.
- Exasperated : No, I’m not currently writing a report to send you to prison.
- Evenly : No, you really didn’t get any mail today.
- Indignant : Yes, that is the only letter for you. No, you cannot look into the mail stack to check.
- Disbelieving : How would I know what’s in that letter adressed to you ? I don’t have x-ray vision ! If you want to know what’s inside, just open the damn thing !
- Polite : Please knock and wait until I’m available to talk to you.
- Pleading : Thank you for knocking, but please wait until I’m available to talk to you, eye contact is usually a good sign of this.
- With contained irritation : Knocking on the door does not give you diplomatic immunity to barge in and yell at me, let’s try this again.
- Stage whispering : I cannot talk to you because I’m on the phone !
- Annoyed : I don’t know if my colleague is in his office. Why don’t you check, it’s only 3 steps away ?
- Fondly : I like you just fine, now please stop poking me. Ouch.
- Wistfully : Just because I work on a computer does not mean I can find every answer to every question you have.
- Tentative : You are right, that’s written in the Bible. But that other thing is also written in the Bible, so maybe we can agree to disagree ? What do you mean I’m quoting the fake Bible ?
- Indignant : Could you please come and talk to me in the office rather than asking stuff from the other side of the hall ?
- Bordering nervous breakdown : Please stop singing at the top of your lungs so I can concentrate on my work or at least go sing some place that is not right beside my door my god how do you know so many songs by heart anyway ???
There, I think I’m all set :D